in memorium: Kalpagam Mami
I dedicate this page to Kalpagam mami from whom I wish to learn many of life's precious lessons. I remember my first experience of her veena music was in the seventies when I was studying in Chennai and it was a radio recital of hers where she began with the Sahaana raga varnam and I was magically hooked on to her music. As we come from very divers styles of veena playing, my mother (Karpagavalli jokingly said "are you partial to her music because she shares her name with me?"). But that Sahaana of hers was destined to haunt me for decades and destiny had meant us to play it together for a laptop recording that Ramki managed to save for me and other listeners.
Her music had a weighty, steady quality but mine is preoccupied with catching the ever changing inflections of thought and therefore , at first blush, one would think that the 'twain can never meet'. As I age, what I hope to achieve is a fine blend of her deliberate style, never losing its poise and calm on the one hand and my running after the speeding ideas in my mind on the other... I dont know whether I will ever achieve such a fine blend......
Above all this, what I wish to learn from her are such sterling virtues as grace, patience, a charm and humility which is not a put on but so genuine and music as personal 'sadhana'; awards, recognition, audience appreciation etc are things outside her sacred chamber where she practiced her music for her soul, with dedication and with something like physical penance (even past her eighties she would sit square legged for full three hours with her veena in her hands).
I believe that vainikas with such dedication are blessed never to be born again, attaining 'Moksha' from birth and death. I sincerely believe that she has attained that realm of pure grace and eternal joy.
May her memory serve us all as a reminder for what to strive for.